Hi. I’m really excited to post this.
I have been wanting to create a list of pet-peeves geared towards the male population, gathered from my dating experiences, for quite some time.
They are all legitimate, I promise.
I have NO idea why my last post was the same subject- peeves.
I am not peeved and actually quite happy, thank-you-very-much.
Some make me want to just smack you.
Some make my skin crawl.
Some make me want to laugh.
Some make me seem shallow and high-maintenance.
Some make me seem simple and easy-going.
The bottom line is that:
pet-peeves create little red flags that go off in my head and remind me that I really don’t want to continue getting to know you in a dating nature, ultimately will get annoyed/ bored with you and would prefer to be a single lady
*Please note: If you a runner, tri-athlete, millionaire, own a peanut butter factory, live in Italy, a cowboy, or a celebrity of some sort then disregard this list– you will not bug me in any way, shape, or fashion.
PET PEEVES OF MEN
- Long nails: Have you heard of a nail-clipper? No? For about $1.99, you could change your grotesque nails and I might be able to look at you.
- In Love with your VEHICLE: An ex of mine had a Camero and was obsessed with keeping it clean, not eating food in it, etc. He freaked out once when my fingerprint was on the window. REALLY? I’m sorry, I don’t have time for you to be crooning over an object that originated as a horse and buggy. Get over it.
- Socks with Sandals: Just…. no.
- Unibrow: Did you say something? I was too busy looking at the caterpillar that has clearly made itself a home on your block of a forehead.
- Smooth hands: Ew. I like hands that are: big, calloused, rough. None of that manicured stuff.
- Pet-names: I LOATHE the name Princess. And it makes me very uncomfortable if you start calling me Sweetie, Baby, Hunny, etc. and we are not that serious. Call me Lillian. Thanks.
- TEXTING: This is probably one of my BIGGEST issues with males. I literally say “I DON’T LIKE TEXTING, JUST CALL ME.” What do they do? Text. And they say “Oh, it is just more convenient for me to text.” Oh, is that so Mr. Convenient? Basically that means it is too much of an effort to have a phone conversation with a woman you are interested in? Guess we don’t have much to talk about then. Thanks for the effort and bye.
- Physical-fitness: Listen, looks matter. Don’t be shocked, everyone thinks this, I just voiced it. I am very active and want the same in a man. If you can’t maintain some sort of fit regimen, I am not impressed. I need some hunky muscular physique to draw me in. I don’t expect a 6 pack (although, that would be very nice), but there needs to be a semi-high level of fitness going on.
- Sexy Librarian comments: I am a librarian. Please, stop with the sexy comments. You think you are being original you are not. You are a walking cliché.
- Cling-ons: You constantly feel a need to place a hand on the small of my back, or grab my shoulder, butt, brush my arm… SPACE yourself, boy. You are in my bubble of one.
- Cockiness: You might think you sound confident, but you don’t. You sound cocky. It is unattractive and I will tell you that.
- Elusiveness: This is super annoying, inconvenient, and makes me get bored quickly. Acting like this is called playing games and sending mixed signals. You want to hang out or not? Can’t let me know what you are thinking or feeling? I am not waiting around until you decide to get assertive. I’d rather wait for a pile of ice-cubes to melt.
- Repetitive: Stop repeating the same thing over. The same darn story, the same darn compliment, the same darn make-out move. Yawn.
- Teeth: I can’t stand bad teeth. Crooked, yellow, etc. This might make me seem shallow, I know it is genetic but I just am not attracted to your mouth and will forever think of you as Austin Powers. Or a beaver.
- Control-freak: You can’t stand it if I eat some of your food, rummage in your drawer looking for some socks to wear, or move your alphabetized DVDs out of place. I think you need a vacation, not a girlfriend.
- Jealousy: Do NOT question my judgement on who I am hanging out with or what I am doing or not doing with them. We are not exclusive and committed, so there is no need to even wonder. And if we are in a relationship, I am fiercely loyal so don’t disrespect me by questioning who so and so is and become anal about every male that talks to me. That just shows me you are self-conscious and probably being sleazy.
- Smell: Wear deodorant and cologne if possible. Most guys think they smell nice on their own- that is a myth. You don’t. Would you enjoy smelling the inside of a gym locker while trying to watch a movie? I did not think so.
- Wrinkled clothing: You look busted. I am going to leave you at home because I shaved my legs and you couldn’t even make an effort on appearing decent.
- Smoking/Chewing: Just no. Sorry, this is nonnegotiable.
- Hardcore Partying: You still think you’re in a frat house and getting wasted is really rad. That is GREAT for you, enjoy this lifestyle. Have fun and try not to injure your liver too much.
- Video Games: Okay, I get it- men like playing video games. BUT if you know that I am coming over, don’t expect me to be super upbeat and happy to sit on the side of the couch and watch you kill Zerglings and collect gold coins. Would you be really happy if I choose to sit and read one of my books when you came over to hang out? Might be a bit annoying, yes?
In conclusion, no one is perfect.
And apparently, all the men I have been seeing are the wrong type and full of red flags.
BUT this is not at all bad- seeing these men that make you peeved.
Chances are that when I meet a good match- someone who makes me laugh and happy and doesn’t get my panty-hose in a bunch- I’ll know it.
I’ll know it like I’ve found a good melon.
(When Harry Met Sally anyone??)