Will this relationship last?
Throughout my dating experiences, I have always found it necessary to track what I like or did not like about a person. Deep in my psyche and brain matter, I have always known the exact type of person I want to be with (aka my dream man) but found it hard finding all the ideal traits in an actual real man.
Until now, that is, because Mr. Speedy has completely blown all previous relationships, inklings of crushes, and fantasies about going on a date with so-and-so out of the sky, into the solar system, right past Pluto.
He is the dream guy.
It is science.
It is a fact.
And I have the evidence to prove it.
The Art of Charting Dates
Whether you are a lady or a gentleman, try this out: Chart your dates. The numbers do not lie and it will make it easy to decide whether this person is worth your time or… probably just better to let go like a moldy bagel.
Unless you hang on to moldy bagels for some strange reason, in which you are probably a hoarder and doomed in the dating world.
Anyways, do this:
1. Think of 5-10 attributes that are ideal in a life partner.
2. Using a scale 1-10 (10 being your dream person), plot your date on their attributes.
3. Average the total– because they might have not an ideal wardrobe but an outstanding job. Give ‘em a chance.
4. Study your dates. Does anyone stand out?
5. Rule of thumb: Anyone under a 7 is probably a moldy bagel. Let them go. I did not follow this rule and holy smoly- bad move. It gets messy and smelly when you keep a moldy bagel.
Attribute Chart
Guess what Series Mr. Speedy is…
This is a chart that I have had for …. years. Plotting men here and there. Some of these men were semi-relationships others did not make it past a first date.
Clearly, Mr. Speedy has blown my socks off. He went past my 10 score. My chart had to expand and rightfully adjust to accurately score him. His looks are unparalleled to any other. He has a keen sense of style that makes my head turn. His career is proving to be extremely successful, professional, and impressive. He is FUNNY. This was one trait that I wasn’t too sure about… Can he make me laugh? Yes, yes he can. I almost pee my pants often. Our interests are the same, but vastly different. Conversations never lug. Kissing…. ugh, let me just say that our physical attraction causes me to have short circuits in my brain and we often fall into a mauling blackhole of sweetness. And he runs so dang fast that I am pretty sure his middle name is Athletic.
Moving on…
Because I am one of those girls that over-thinks and over-analyzes everything, this first chart is not enough.
Bring on the Dinner Chart-
1. Prepare the SAME EXACT dinner for different dates.
2. I mean it! Just switch out the person you are with.
3. Rate each dinner based on how it went from beginning to end.
4. This is basically the scientific method… DUH.
Dinner Chart
I’m SO excited to share this little dating trick with you.
Cooking a meal for your date is super fun but add the rating system and pretending that you are a super scientist of love, makes it a zillion times better. Over the years, I have cooked a certain meal for various dates. I tried to keep everything basically the same (okay, maybe I changed out the meat choice in addition to the man) so as to not skew the results.
It is funny. Some of these dates seem to hold some promise at certain parts, perking up during the cooking portion, helping me out. They scored higher. Series 2, even though I was semi-excited to cook, turned out to be a moldy bagel, was boring, had horrible table manners, and did not help me clean-up. FAIL.
Mr. Speedy (aka Series 5) obviously wins this cooking experiment. I would cook for this man any day, any meal. I would even go out, slay a posionious dragon with a dull letter opener if he asked me too.
Judging from this face, I am pretty sure he does not like dragon meat.
He frowns at the thought of eating dragon meat. I promise not to cook any.
Why do I look like a soccer mom?
Don’t answer that.
Never mind.
Moral of the story:
Use charts, graphs, and the scientific method while dating. Don’t keep any moldy bagels and stick it out for that person that goes off your charts and makes your soul turn to mush.
When you are ready, I’m great with weddings.. Gave my daughter a beautiful one.. Just saying
Auntie, sounds good… I’ll keep that in mind.
I would say that me and my girlfriend used charts in our dating process too, but it’s hard to walk lines, let alone draw them when you’re time traveling. Our courting process was quite full of various alcoholic spirits and tonics. But it wasn’t all drunken shenanigans, we even learned to cook together too.
Cooking together is extremely important because feeding time and consuming calories are one of the best activities you can possibly do in the couple world. Or single world. Any any world. Time traveling and charting sounds complicated.